As a parent, this news likely stirs up disappointment, worry and frustration. However, your reaction in this moment can greatly impact your child. With some reflection and an open, productive conversation, you can provide the guidance your freshman needs right now. 

Follow these five tips to make the most out of this challenging talk:

1. Listen First, React Later

Your freshman likely didn't make this decision lightly. Before disagreeing or problem solving, focus on truly listening to their concerns. Let them explain without interruption why they feel unhappy enough to leave their school. Resist lecturing or dismissing their feelings. Your student needs compassion right now, not criticism.

2. Explore the Root Causes 

Is your freshman struggling with their coursework? Fighting with roommates? Feeling lonely? Pinpoint the specific issues compelling them to want to transfer. Oftentimes major changes seem like the perfect solution when emotions run high. Reasonable fixes may resolve things without transferring.

3. Discuss Pros and Cons

How would transferring affect graduation timeline, cost, credits, their major program, or distance from home? Changing colleges has long-term ripple effects. Review the tradeoffs together to ensure your child sees the full picture beyond just leaving an unhappy situation.

4. Suggest Alternatives 

Propose less dramatic options like switching dorms, classes, or clubs. Remind them that all freshmen feel overwhelmed in their first semester. With time, they'll adjust to the workload, make friends and hopefully feel at home. 

5. Avoid Rushed Decisions

This news likely sparked an emotional rollercoaster for you both. Yet hasty choices now could make your child's situation worse. Reassure them that transferring is a decision the whole family will make together, after thoughtful consideration.

The Thanksgiving table is for nurturing open conversation, not hashing out big decisions. This break, focus on supporting your student emotionally first. With your compassion and guidance, they will gain perspective and clarity to make the best choice for their future.

When your college freshman wants to transfer at Thanksgiving, it's shocking. Stay calm and avoid lecturing. Listen to their concerns and the root causes first. Then have an open conversation weighing pros, cons and alternatives. Read our latest blog for 5 tips to guide your freshman through this tough talk productively.