When Surliness Strikes: Campus Tour Survival Tips for Parents

Many teens are excited about campus tours which make them easy to plan and complete. Some students are more tricky to travel with. Anxiety and fear about the future can lead to irritability and lack of engagement. Navigating campus tours with a grumpy teenager can be frustrating, but there are some strategies to make the experience more positive.

mom and daughter in a car with the daughter looking out the passenger window and appearing angry or upset.


  1. Set Expectations Beforehand: This tour is for them, so staying engaged is required. Establish what respectful participation looks like, such as asking questions and limiting phone use.
  2. Emphasize the Goal: Gathering helpful information for a big decision involving a large investment. Remind them how much they research before choosing a new pair of shoes or a phone. This purchase is much larger and involves four years of their life!
  3. Discuss Interests: Customize parts of the tour to get them more excited, even if it means splitting up briefly. 
  4. Offer Periodic Snacks/Coffee Breaks: Mini resets are helpful if their energy or focus gets overly drained. Short walk breaks are great too.
  5. Embrace Fact Gathering: This is especially important when your student decides from the moment you step on campus that they dislike the college and want to skip touring the school. Rather than just leaving, encourage them to keep track of everything they hate about the school because doing so will help them know exactly what to look for in other colleges that are a better fit.
  6. Debrief with Curiosity: Meals are great times for debriefing. Ask open-ended questions like "What resonated most from the tour?" and "When did you feel most engaged/excited?" Listen closely for subtle reactions too. Did your teen light up talking with a pre-med student or get quiet in the engineering building? Discuss logistics like the residence halls and food options. Validate any concerns that come up. This is also the time to clear up any factual questions. The goal is to leave the visit with a clearer sense of your teen's true feelings about the school without imposing your own biases. What they liked or didn't like may surprise you!


Share by: