Talking Values: The Most Overlooked Step in College Admissions

Parents often think the college process is about test scores, rankings, and financial aid packages. Those things matter, but they are not what most families hold dearest. At the heart of so many households are values like faith, personal growth, family, helping others, and volunteering. These are the anchors that have shaped teenagers for years, and they can also guide the path to college.



When families double down on these values in the admissions journey, they remind their teenager that the real goal is not prestige. It is choosing an environment where the values they live every day can continue to flourish.



Why Values Belong in Admissions Conversations

By high school, students already carry the imprint of family values. Faith practices, family dinners, community service projects, and conversations about resilience and growth have quietly shaped who they are. Yet the pressure of admissions can make families forget the simple truths they live by.


Bringing those values into the process grounds teenagers in what matters most. It also shows them how to make decisions from strength rather than from fear of falling behind.


Examples of Values in Action

  • Faith: Families who value faith often look for colleges with active campus ministries, supportive chaplains, or opportunities to connect belief with daily life. A Christian student might thrive at a Jesuit university where reflection and service are central. A Jewish student may seek a campus with a vibrant Hillel community.
  • Personal Growth: For families who value growth, the right fit is a college that pushes students to step outside their comfort zones. That might mean schools with strong leadership programs, study abroad opportunities, or mentoring networks that challenge students to stretch.
  • Family: Students grounded in family values often want a sense of community on campus. Smaller colleges with close professor-student relationships or schools within driving distance can keep that sense of connection alive. For others, “family” may mean finding a second family of peers and mentors who offer belonging far from home.
  • Helping Others: Teens raised to serve will feel most alive in settings that emphasize community engagement. Some colleges integrate service into coursework, while others support robust volunteer centers or student-led initiatives that make a tangible impact.
  • Volunteering: If volunteering has always been part of family life, then colleges that value civic engagement become natural fits. These campuses create pathways for students to continue giving back, whether through local nonprofits, global service trips, or research tied to social impact.


Suggestions for Parents

  1. Say the values out loud
    Instead of focusing only on test prep or deadlines, frame conversations around what your family stands for. “In our family, we’ve always valued helping others. Let’s look at colleges where you’ll have chances to serve.”
  2. Use values as decision filters
    When comparing colleges, ask: Which of these choices reflects faith, growth, family, service, or volunteering in a way that feels authentic to us?
  3. Model choices rooted in values
    Share your own stories of following family values in big decisions. Teens often pay more attention to lived examples than to advice.
  4. Return to values during stressful moments
    When admissions pressure rises, use values as a reminder: “Yes, this is overwhelming, but what matters most is finding a college where you can live out the values that have shaped you.”


Long-Term Impact

When students choose colleges aligned with their family values, they often carry those habits into adulthood. A teenager who volunteers regularly and attends a school that prizes service may later build a career in public health or social work. A student raised in a strong faith tradition may choose a college that deepens spiritual formation, providing stability during years of change.


Values do more than ease admissions stress. They prepare teenagers to keep making grounded choices when they face new challenges in work, relationships, and adulthood.


The Bottom Line

Parents do not need to reinvent the wheel for college admissions. The values that have shaped their teenagers since childhood are the very tools that can guide this journey. Faith, personal growth, family, helping others, and volunteering are not side notes. They are the compass points that help families move through admissions with clarity and confidence.

The right college is not the one that looks most impressive from the outside. It is the one that allows students to keep living the values that will carry them into a meaningful future.