This page is licensed under Creative Commons under Attribution 4.0 International. Anyone can share content from this page, with attribution and link to College MatchPoint requested.
5 Ways Parents Can Focus on What They Can Control in the College Admissions Process
Parents cannot control which envelope arrives in the mailbox, but they can shape how their teen experiences the journey. Families have enormous influence on whether the admissions process builds character or drains it. Here are five practical ways you can focus on what truly matters.
1. Listen More Than You Direct
This process belongs to your teen. Ask them what role they would like you to play and be willing to adjust. Sometimes the best support is to pause, listen, and let them set the pace.
2. Model Integrity at Every Step
It can be tempting to over edit an essay or hire outside help that crosses the line. When parents take over, teens often feel their own story is not enough. Show them that honesty is more important than shortcuts and that their voice is what matters.
3. Keep Perspective on Status
It is easy to slip into believing that your child’s acceptance at a particular school is a reflection of your success as a parent. In reality, long term satisfaction and growth depend far more on how engaged a student is in college than on how selective the school may be. Help your teen look for fit and opportunities to thrive.
4. Encourage Service That Feels Real
Admissions officers value service that is meaningful, sustained, and connected to authentic interests. Encourage your teen to reflect on what they are learning and how they are challenged, rather than chasing experiences that look impressive on paper.
5. Practice and Teach Gratitude
Applying to college is a privilege many families cannot access. Gratitude brings perspective and steadies the process. Encourage your teen to notice and thank the mentors, teachers, and friends who support them. Share your own gratitude out loud so they see it modeled.
A Final Word
You cannot control admissions decisions, but you can shape the journey. When you listen, model integrity, keep perspective, encourage authentic service, and practice gratitude, you guide your teen with values that matter long after decisions are made. That is the part of the process that is fully in your hands.