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The $10,000 Camp That "Did Nothing": How Over-Planning Can Undermine Your Teen’s Growth
Winter break is when most families finally breathe. The college deadlines slow down, the group chats quiet, and—for a few weeks—there’s time to think. Yet for many parents, it’s also when the next round of pressure sneaks in: What should my teen do this summer?
The inbox fills with glossy emails about “elite experiences” and “college-level rigor.” Each one promises transformation, often with a five-figure price tag. It’s easy to believe that if the opportunity is prestigious and expensive, it must be worth it. But here’s the truth: we meet students every year who spent $10,000 on a summer program that changed nothing. They come home with a certificate, a sweatshirt, and a nice photo—but no new insight, direction, or spark.
That’s not failure. It’s the inevitable result of summers designed to impress, not to grow.
The Problem with Perfect Summers
High-achieving families are masters of planning. They know how to research, compare, and optimize. But when every week of summer is scheduled with precision, something important disappears—curiosity. Students move from one planned experience to the next, doing what looks good instead of discovering what feels right.
We see this often. A student spends weeks at a selective pre-college course and returns with little to say beyond, “It was fine.” They completed the work, met a few people, and came home unchanged. Admissions officers can sense that. They can tell when a student has attended a program because it was chosen for them rather than by them. The application essays from those experiences read polished but empty.
The most memorable essays, on the other hand, often grow from unplanned curiosity—a project that started small, a volunteer role that evolved, a challenge that required resilience. Those stories live longer because they come from ownership, not orchestration.
How Over-Planning Backfires
The instinct to structure every moment comes from love and worry. Parents want to protect their kids from missed opportunities. But over-planning teaches the wrong lesson: that worth comes from constant productivity.
The best summers aren’t a race against time. They are a rhythm of engagement and rest, structure and space. Students need the chance to be still long enough to ask themselves, What do I care about? What would I do if no one else were watching? When that reflection disappears, even the most impressive calendar becomes hollow.
Ironically, the students who have the most access to opportunity are often the ones who struggle most to define their own interests. They’ve been signed up for everything except self-direction. The result is not lack of experience—it’s lack of agency.
What Colleges Actually Value
Admissions officers are not impressed by price tags. They look for evidence of initiative, follow-through, and reflection. A student who spends the summer working at a local business, volunteering at a community center, or developing a creative project at home can demonstrate just as much growth as one who attends a brand-name program.
What stands out is depth, not destination. Colleges look for patterns that make sense—a student exploring what they love and learning from what they try. Growth does not require luxury. It requires intention.
One parent told us recently that her daughter spent $9,000 on a business program at a top university and came back uncertain of what she’d learned. The essay that won over admissions officers later came from her small project mentoring middle school girls in entrepreneurship—an idea she came up with herself after that program ended. That’s what genuine impact looks like.
Why Rest Is Not the Enemy
Parents often treat rest as a luxury, but it’s essential. Time away from constant structure allows teenagers to recover from academic pressure and rediscover creativity. A week with no agenda can help them notice what actually holds their attention. That awareness becomes the foundation for better choices later.
Encourage your teen to build both movement and stillness into their summer plan. They might take a short course, volunteer, or work part-time—but also leave space for reading, reflection, or even boredom. Those quiet hours can lead to the insight and initiative that high-priced programs promise but rarely deliver.
Helping Teens Take Ownership
A meaningful summer begins with a simple question: What do you want to learn or contribute? Shift from planning for your teen to planning with them. Let them research a few options, propose an idea, or test something new. Support their choices without trying to perfect them.
If they want to explore medicine, they don’t need a lab in another state—they could shadow a local doctor or volunteer at a clinic. If they love art, they can build a small portfolio or teach a community class. These experiences are richer because they belong to the student.